The advance of the modern man and woman is nothing short of astounding. We’ve put a man on the moon, we’ve got the human Genome sorted out and we’re closing in on things like Nuclear Fusion.
But what happens when you mix cash and the antithesis of Thomas Edison? Well we don’t know either but pretty sure it would look like this. Here’s some of the dumbest and most useless inventions of the last few years!
1. The Dog Umbrella
The Dog Umbrella doesnt need much introduction. Pooch envy gone mad, someone apparantly thinks picking up crap after their dog isnt enough, now the dont want them to catch a cold? Please!
2. The Useless Box
The useless box is exactly that. A completely useless hunk of plastic that serves no real purpose. Infinitely difficult to put together and with dodgy instructions, this “novelty” item is designed to be a frustratingly annoying gift for your not so best friend.
3. The Foldable Helmet
We think this is a dumb product because if there’s one thing you dont compromise on, its your head. Although the manufacturer claims this offers the same level of protection as a standard helmet, why take the risk? Its not like a helmet takes up a lot of room is it? Pass.
4. Wenger Giant Knife, $2149
We love a good swiss army knife as much as the next man, but this one is just taking the piss. The monstrosity you see before you has 141 functions, but with a portability factor of less than zero, we fail to see what value it has. Because you’d almost always leave it at home, you’d be better off getting a proper tool from the toolbox.
5 Remote Control Head Strap
If you happen to own, or are thinking of purchasing the remote head strap, then you’ve pretty much given up any hope of ever getting laid. Finished in a vomit like dark green, and trimmed in uneven black elastic, a more mental looking apparatus you’re unlikely to ever find.
6 Handsfree umbrella
A turd rolled in gold is still a turd. And the hot model under the “numbrella” does little to hide the ridiculousness of this impractical invention, that surprisingly, never took off. Unless you were standing dead still and there was zero wind, then you’ll get wet.
7 Selfie Stick
If the obsession with selfies wasnt enough, now you can go one step further. By carrying around this large piece of metal and plastic, you can get a greater angle into your selfies, but we would argue – why?
8 Noodle bib
Not really much to be said really. If you read The Stylish Male then by now you’d have a rough idea of whats stylish and whats not. Here’s a tip, if you think this makes good fashion sense, please email me for assistance.
9. The Hot Chip Holder
That age old problem of spilling your chips on the floor – said no one ever. A completely useless waste of the earths resources. Hopefully this company went bust as quickly as their R&D team assessed the merit of their product.
10 The Abhancer
What every stylish male wants – enhanced abs. If you’ve ever wanted 8 red indentations on your beer gut then here’s your trick. Its even got a positive endorsement from “Jeff” so you really cant pass it up can you?
Well there you have it, some of the worst inventions we’ve ever seen. We sincerely hope you haven’t forked out your hard earned on any of these abominations of nature.
All the best,